Carlos Kaiser was supposed to be a footballer, playing in the position of striker—a role focused on scoring goals in football. However, he did not run towards defenders, he didn’t shoot the ball properly, and he couldn’t dribble. He truly was the antithesis of a football player.
Over his career, the Brazilian “footballer” played on eleven different teams and scored zero goals. He is on record saying that he wanted to be a football player, but he actually generally hated playing football. This is the story of a man who wanted to be a football star not for the love of the game but for the fortune, women, and fame.
Nonetheless, he did have some attributes going for him. For instance, he had contacts in high places, as well as a fair amount of charisma. These two attributes, alongside a great relationship with the press, allowed Carlos Kaiser to succeed in his objective of being a football star without actually knowing how to play football.
Brazilian Con artist, Carlos Kaiser, who had a decade long career as a Football player, and managed to sign for multiple teams, never played even one regular game. The one time he almost had to play, he started a fight, to get a Red Card, avoiding actuall… pic.twitter.com/e0IrCTuN5i
— Benjamin Young Savage (ᐱᓐᒋᐱᓐ) (@benjancewicz) November 30, 2022
Kaiser, whose real name is Carlos Henrique Reposo, began his football career in the mid-1980s. By the age of 23, he was allegedly moving between Brazilian clubs, searching for a spot on the professional squad of one of Brazil’s teams. One evening at a club, he crossed paths with Botafogo icon Mauricio de Oliveira.
Over drinks and samba dance, Carlos Kaiser was able to convince de Oliveira to put him on the professional squad. Kaiser allegedly asked Oliveira, “Do you think you can put me in the professional squad, not as an employee, but as a player?”
This was the moment when Oliveira, captivated by Kaiser’s charisma, not only secured him a spot on the team but also took on the role of his manager.
It was Oliveira who coined the nickname “Kaiser,” inspired by Franz Beckenbauer, the legendary German player famously known as “Der Kaiser” for his commanding presence on the field. The nickname was meant to impress the Botafogo management, and Kaiser himself eagerly embraced the association with such a celebrated football icon.
South America’s most prestigious club tournament is without a shadow of a doubt the Copa Libertadores. It is South America’s version of the Champions League and has been played every year since 1960.
In the 1980’s, a football club from Argentina, Independiente, was an absolute juggernaut and dominated the competition. Oliveira and Carlos Kaiser took advantage of the team’s success to make it look as if he was part of Independiente’s 1984-winning squad. They were able to do so because there was an actual Independiente player called Carlos Enrique, who was indeed part of the team.
He eventually signed a professional contract with Botafogo, but then another issue arose. He hated playing football. In several interviews, Carlos Kaiser has stated that he used to go to the team’s training sessions, but then after twenty minutes or so, he would fake an injury and simply skip training sessions and games.
Flamengo is by far Brazil’s most popular football club. Today, the Rio-based club has almost 40 million registered fans, making it one of if not the most popular football club in the world, and believe it or not, Carlos Kaiser “played” there.
During his time at Botafogo, he didn’t really play, but he was able to make high-profile contacts. One of these was Renato Gaucho, a former Brazilian player who played on Roma and on the national team. He would be the one that would ultimately bring him to Flamengo.
Just like he did (or actually didn’t do) in Botafogo, Kaiser would not make an appearance for Flamengo, but favors from the Brazilian press eventually landed him in Mexico and in the United States.
The closest Carlos Kaiser had ever come to playing in an official match was in a club called Bangú. The club’s President had asked the manager to put Kaiser in for the second half. While he was warming up, Kaiser noticed there were some opposition fans who were screaming abuse at his team.
Before the end of the first half, Carlos Kaiser went up to the fans and fought them, prompting him to get sent off from the game by the referee.
The story goes that the Bangú president furiously made his way down to the locker room, but Carlos Kaiser spoke first.
The final player in Football’s Nearly Men unbelievably features a player known widely as “the greatest footballer never to have played football.” – Carlos Kaiser https://t.co/56XCQJbGDg pic.twitter.com/Rg9WSsrTtO
— John Francis Dempsey (@garswoodjunior) November 6, 2024
Kaiser supposedly said, “Before you say anything, god gave me a biological father and another one (meaning him, the president). I will not stand for their fans to call my father a thief who does bad things, and that’s what their fans said about you.”
Carlos Kaiser said that the Club’s president then hugged him and gave him a six-month contract renewal. Of course, this story was told by Carlos Kaiser himself…
By 1990, Carlos Kaiser had somehow landed a professional contract in France with a small club called Ajaccio. During his time there, he only played 20 minutes with the first team.
He eventually returned to Brazil, where he once again managed to land professional contracts on major teams such as Vasco da Gama, Fluminense, and Palmeiras.
By the time Carlos Kaiser was 38, he officially decided to retire from football, going on to say he regrets not being able to live up to the expectations around him, because he never delivered results.
During his colorful career, Carlos Kaiser shared a locker room with some true Brazilian football icons such as Rocha, Renato Gaucho, Romario, and Bebeto. One of them, former defender Ricardo Rocha, once quipped that in a contest to see who could tell the most lies, even Pinocchio would stand no chance against Kaiser.
Now, after 20 years of deception, Kaiser trains female body-builders. —or at least that’s what he told FourFourTwo magazine.
